Detective Conan

FILE 0: SOMETHING SOMETHING MURDER

Ran: Thanks for inviting us to your mansion, Mr. Person!

Mr. Person: Anything for famous detective Kogoro Mori!

Kogoro: That's right! I'm SO AWESOME

Conan: *mutters darkly to himself*

Kogoro: Also, I was told there would be girls here.

Mr. Person: I don't know what you're talking about. Now, allow me to introduce my three family members and/or employees!

Angry Guy: I'm REALLY ANGRY! I HATE EVERYONE

Bitchy Lady: This mansion is in bad taste, and I'm going to be rude to everyone as long as I'm here. Because I also hate everyone.

Quiet Guy: I just stay in the back and don't talk much.

Conan: Wait... this person...

Mr. Person: Excuse me, I have to go do something in my room for some reason. Wait here until I'm back!

He leaves.

Angry Guy: Suddenly, I have to go use the bathroom!

Bitchy Lady: Me, too!

They leave.

Ran: So, what brings all of you here?

Quiet Guy: We were all in the same club in high school, actually, but we haven't seen each other since... the incident...

Ran: Mr. Person sure has been gone a long time. Maybe we should go check on him.

They go to his room. The door is shut.

Quiet Guy: Huh? The door's locked!

Kogoro: I'll break it down!

He does.

Ran: Mr. Person? Are you in here?

He's dead.

Ran: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Kogoro: He's only been dead for a little while. That means the killer has to be-SOMEBODY IN THIS HOUSE!

Everyone is shocked.

Kogoro: It looks like Mr. Person's been strangled...

Conan: Yes... I see...

Kogoro hits Conan.

Kogoro: Always getting in the way!

Conan: *mutters darkly to himself*

Quiet Guy: Look! By the window!

They look. A sinister, shadowy figure hovers outside the window, then disappears.
Conan jumps out the window.

Ran: Eh!? Conan!

(the next part is badly fan-translated)

Conan: Huh? There is not a footprints!
How could there not footprints from the figure...
Unless...!

Conan has the idea.

Conan: Now to see if my theory is the right one!

He goes back into house.

(the original translator comes back)

Ran: Why is Angry Guy so angry all the time?

Bitchy Lady: Him? It all started with... the incident...

Conan: I get the feeling that this is all related to that incident...20 years ago!!
...Actually, no. They never said how many years ago it was. Never mind.

Conan looks for clues.

Conan: There! I've found it!

Conan has found something the audience cannot see.

Conan: That means the murderer has to be...that person!

Meanwhile, Kogoro is yelling at someone.

Kogoro: You're the murderer! You had more than enough time to kill Mr. Person!
And the key to his room was in your pocket!

Angry Guy: This has to be a misunderstanding! I never killed anyone!

Kogoro: And Mr. Person was holding a note saying "Angry Guy killed me. Please arrest him. Love, Mr. Person"!

Angry Guy: What

Kogoro: Case closed! Now let's go, there aren't any girls here-

Conan shoots Kogoro in the neck, and he falls asleep.

Conan (mimicking Kogoro's voice): -Is what I might have said...but it turns out that the murderer is someone completely different!

Conan is standing behind the chair Kogoro is in. Fortunately, no one notices his legs under the chair.

Conan: The real murderer...is you! Quiet Guy!!

Quiet Guy: But I never had time to kill Mr. Person! I was with you the whole time!

Conan: That's true...but the actual murder took place yesterday!!

Ran: But we were talking to him this morning!

Conan: The man you thought was "Mr. Person" was actually an incredibly complicated system of cables and pulleys attached to a puppet with a tape recorder strapped to it!

Ran: And the shadowy figure outside the window?

Conan: Also a puppet!

Quiet Guy: That's ridiculous! Where's your proof?

Conan: Look over there at that wall!

There are scratches all over the wall.

Conan: This indicates that the murderer practiced for a long time to get his trick to work! You can even see where he scratched the word "fuckshit" into the wall out of sheer frustration!

Quiet Guy: But what about the other two!? They could have killed him in the same way!

Conan: Wrong! Angry Guy was out of town yesterday, and Bitchy Lady is female, and therefore too weak to strangle anybody!
This is true even though I live with a girl strong enough to punch holes in the wall!

Quiet Guy: What about the time of death!? You said he died only a little while before we found him!

Conan: You altered the body's decomposition rate using household materials to make it look like he died recently!

Quiet Guy: That's enough, Detective. Yes...I killed him.

Everyone is shocked.

Quiet Guy: It all started with that incident...twenty years ago!
Our club went swimming...and suddenly, there was a fire! Later, it was discovered that the water had been poisoned! And then my girlfriend hanged herself.
But it wasn't a suicide...Mr. Person killed her! He told me just yesterday and laughed for twenty minutes straight! So I strangled him!

Conan: Cool story bro.

Quiet Guy cries dramatically and smiles.

Quiet Guy: Funny, isn't it...my girlfriend was hanged...and now I'm going to jail...and I guess there's a chance I'll be hanged.
So yeah.

Conan: Revenge is bad, kids.

Kogoro wakes up.

Kogoro: ...wha? What'd I miss?

Ran: You've solved another case!

Kogoro: Oh. Damn right I did!

Conan: *mutters darkly to himself*

Ran: Wait a minute...Conan looks, acts, and sounds like my missing boyfriend Shinichi!

Ran glares at Conan.

Ran: Are you Shinichi?

Conan: No.

Ran: Oh. Never mind, then.

THE END




So I read 172 chapters of this. It's pretty good.

I remember watching this show. Lol. It was great. I don't remember much of it though. D:

Detective Conan is long as fuck. I remember watching it in like 7 years ago in eighth grade. Good stuff.

I'm caught up on both the anime and manga, I surprised myself

So many people die around this kid its not even funny, lol I did the first 12 or so volumes but never caught up.