NetHack

Free text-based RPG. Supposedly takes ten years to beat once.

I've heard of this but am scared to try it. It has a reputation.

...I'm just going to put the link here in case I need it for later

http://nethack.org/

"Believe it or not, people can and do "win" Net Hack! The main key to winning and not dying is patience. Nothing happens in the game if you don't hit a key; this lets you think each of your moves out carefully. Each time your character meets a grisly or stupid demise, use it as a learning experience, and try not to repeat your mistake the next time you play."

I have no idea what's going on

Sounds kool. I'll look into this one day when I'm bored...

...I probably shouldn't have eaten that.

Anyways, you can't use save states in this game, so I just have to start over.
Is it just me or is this actually kind of fun?

Seems like I'm hooked on the game now, and I've played through it a bunch of times already.
My highest scorer was Carlos the female orcish barbarian who was brought down by a gang of werejackals. She scored 777 points.

It may be addicting, but there is one part about the game I don't especially like.

Spoiler:

I would very much like this to not happen so often

For my final trial, I'll record what happens.
I'm naming this last guy "Anjimito" after the most recent new user.

You, a newly trained Rhizotomist, have been heralded
from birth as the instrument of Hermes. You are destined
to recover the Amulet for your deity, or die in the
attempt. Your hour of destiny has come. For the sake
of us all: Go bravely with Hermes!

Since I leave all the character information up to chance, Anjimito turned out to be a "neutral female human Healer". Sounds great for fighting monsters...

She brought a bunch of medical tools with her, including healing spellbooks, apples, and a stethoscope. Also a "wand of sleep". And her dog.
And...$1492? Seriously!?

I started in a room right next to a jackal. This'll be fun.
Actually, it was, because I eviscerated it with my scalpel, and the dog ate its corpse. I guess this could be considered a good start.
The jackal had a brass ring, which I put on. It wasn't fatal.

Moving into the next room, I found some suspiciously un-trapped armor and bag of money.
But it was heavy! Nurses aren't built to carry plate mail around (or $1500 worth in gold).
Then I pushed a big rock around for a while. Then I got a message saying I was tired.
If I die from exhaustion, I'm going to be quite angry.

You are momentarily blinded by a flash of light! It bites! It bites!

What the fuck
I lashed out at one of the things around me, and it died. I really hope it wasn't my dog...
There was still something left, though.

You hit it. It bites! You hear some noises. It misses.

WHAT'S GOING ON

There's a freaky plate on the floor, and I tried to "un-trap" it, assuming it was some sort of blinding trap thingy.

Wait! There's something there you can't see! It bites!

I am getting really sick of all this biting!!!
My HP's at 8 out of 13. Dying on the first floor is for gays, so there's no way I'm going to let that happen today!
HAVE AT THEE

...I missed. It was...nothing?
It was just a shiny trap, which I couldn't disarm, so I just left to the southern part of the dungeon. Fortunately my dog escaped unharmed.
Probably. They're not letting me see its HP...

I still needed to find the stairs down to the second level, so I pressed on. That amulet I'm looking for is past floor 20, after all...
I found a can of cow stomachs! Yaaay
I'm surprised it wasn't trapped. That stuff's valuable!
...I had trouble lifting it. DAMN YOU PUNY NURSE ARMS

It looked as though there wasn't anything left, but the hall I was in was suspiciously short, so I hammered the "s" key to search the hall until a grid bug jumped out at me.
It startled me so I killed it with my scalpel in one shot. Badass

I continued into a room with a grid bug, which I quickly dispatched. Meanwhile, my idiot dog is off who knows where. Help me fight, dammit!

The newt suddenly disappears! You hear some noises in the distance.

What
...What newt?
I'm scared

There's a...statue of a newt in the room, as well as a strange panel that looks like the trap from before.
The statue didn't attack or anything, and on closer inspection, the panel turned out to be a "teleporter trap".
For the hell of it, I kicked the statue onto the trap. Sadly, nothing happened.
...I'm supposed to be careful, anyways.

There was also a large box in the room. It was locked, but a bit of scalpel work dealt with that.
What could be inside!?

2 scrolls labeled FOOBIE BLETCH

...
...
...Maybe I can sell them.

I know they have some kind of magic in them, but I don't know if I want to find out what it is.
The only way I can tell what a magic item does is to use it, as far as I know.

Moving on, I took out a newt (the vanishing one, maybe?) and two grid bugs, and claimed a red gem. Sweet

What's that? A goblin?
Well, by now I'm the most pro scalpel-fighter ever. I'll just-
HOLY SHIT HE THREW A KNIFE AT ME FROM ACROSS THE ROOM

...It missed. But that was too close.
I guess that was his only knife, because he moved in for close combat and immediately took a scalpel through the heart. Badass
I took his knife, too.

...My dog's been gone for way too long. I should go look for it.
I can't find any more paths, either.
Oh also I got jumped by some tenacious grid bugs that hit me more than they're supposed to...but then I killed them and reached level 2. Hello, 23HP!
Also I "heard some noises in the distance", whatever that means.

Hooray! I found my dog. I gave him some delicious cow stomachs as a treat.
I was getting hungry, too, so I ate one of the apples-URGH
But it had somehow spoiled. You'd think I'd be able to tell that before eating all of it!

My dog kept playing with a "lichen corpse".That sounds like a vegetable-thing, so I'll eat it. I'm still hungry.
It tasted terrible, but at least it wasn't rotten. I guess that works.

After some searching, I finally found the way down to the second floor, but I was getting weak from hunger.
In desperation, I tried my apples again, and it turns out that only a couple were rotten. The rest seemed fine, and I managed to restore my energy.
Good. Dying of hunger on the first floor would be pretty embarrassing.

I found some armor and gold along with the stairs, too. Lucky.
Just as I was about to head downstairs, I got hungry again. I guess apples just aren't that filling.
So I ate my last one.

Blecch! Rotten food! Everything suddenly goes dark.

Shit.

Fortunately it was only temporary blindness, and I decided to clear out the first floor before proceeding to the second, because food.
IM GONNA EAT THE FIRST THING I SEE
No, not the dog

I kicked down a door and grabbed some gold and a potion, but there was no food anywhere.
So I went downstairs.

You fall down the stairs.

FUCK

I think that's as much as I can handle for today...I'm not dead just yet, which is actually kind of surprising. Ah well, tomorrow.