I met a Latvian Man in a bar today.

So me and my friend Tres were down by the docks in Lil' Chinatown searching for the kingdom of the crystal penis when we heard crying coming from a bar across the street. Well being kind sensitive human beings we went into this bar to find the source of said crying and maybe laugh at the poor putz after he told us his sad terrible life story. So yeah we ordered drinks and sat down next to the man who was crying into his Whiskey. We asked his name.

"My name is McGreggor." the man said.

"I built those docks out there ya know, 40 years ago I did." he motioned to the Docks we just walked in from.

"But do they call me McGreggor the Dock Builder?" He continued punctuating each sentence with a sip of Jack.

"I don't know do they?" I asked, as the Barkeep's daughter started playing NES Hockey with Tres.

"No they don't." He said and demanded more Whiskey from said Barkeep.

"And I fished for my entirelife, But do they call me McGreggor the Fisherman?" He said once again downing his Jack.

"I don't know do they?" I responded as the Barkeep brought me my Cola.

"No they don't." he said.

"And I worked the feilds for 49 years and do they call me McGreggor the Farmer?" He asked.

"No they don't" I responded guessing the answer correctly.

"But the question now becomes why they don't?" I asked.

He ordered another drink and instructed the Barkeep to leave the bottle.

"I Built the Docks...I Fished...I Farmed...but...ya fuck one Goat and you're known as McGreggor the Goat-Fucker for the rest of your days." He drank straight from the bottle.

I said nothing.

"Before ya go son there's something I want you to have." He reached into his Coat pocket and removed a small Katana Shaped Pen Knife.

He put it on a string and handed it to me.

"Wherever you go have that with you...let it remind you of my sad lot in life." He handed me the knife and appeared to vanish into dust.

I retreived Tres who was now playing a diffrent form of hockey all together with the Barkeep's daughter. (Air-Hockey if you were wondering.)

And we continued our quest for....uh...whatever we were questing for.

To this day I shall never forget the story of McGreggor the Goat-Fucker.

And hey I got a bitchin' Katana Necklace Knife Thing:


Awwwwww yeah...Hmm what?

Ah yes, the moral of the story is...

Don't Fuck Goats

...Ehwha?

Awesome Katana thingy though.

I knew this story wouldn't disappoint :O

Well...that story's somewhat correct. We indeed did go to Chinatown, but McGreggor's name was actually Chang. However TLS didn't get the necklace for free...he had to so certain things we don't mention in public but he's now known as TLS the Asswipe.

Also, we bought opium insense(?), and I found out (unfortuanatly) that TLS makes orgasm noises while eating chinese food.
Oh and the subway's still the home of masu's people.

Tres wrote: that TLS makes orgasm noises while eating chinese food.

Damn Right.