So my mom and I were talking

So, I'm truly happy with my life forever
(Warning- Crystal Light high)

"You are talented I swear and if you don't make chamber choir this year I will kick your choir teacher's ass"

And today I auditioned for another solo, which I could have given a fuller voice on. I almost want to audition again, considering the circumstances and the fact that I spent ten minutes (whilst waiting for the all-state kids to finish their rehearsal) contemplating my life. For ten minutes, I almost considered majoring in music.

Yes, really
Yes, not kidding

Yes

I thought, shit, that sounds fun, look at all of the fancy-looking universities and stuff; but it also sounds way too hard and it's a lifelong dedication, plus the fact that choral singing is already starting to take over my sanity. And it's killing me. But at the same time it's so, so fun. When I sing, all I can think about is how happy I am and how happy I'm going to be for the rest of the day. If I'm sad, singing makes it better. A good day in choir is a day with no ire!

Guys I can't decide between English, Biology, art, and music and people are all like "go for the science because you get a better job that way," but is it really about the money you make? Because someday I want to become a famous novelist and travel the world (it's my lifelong dream) and maybe make money that way (minor in foreign languages, maybe), and if I got a job in like animation or something art-related (since art is a wide field) I could really enjoy what I do and still get a good job. I feel like I'm being too optimistic though. ;-; Because, you know, my biggest fear has always been failure. I will admit this now, it's failure. It isn't death or blue-ringed octopi (like some people believe that to be lol), it's everything crashing around me and my kids asking "mommy, why do you look so stressed?" and everything falling apart. And I don't want that.

Look, at me, I'm sixteen and already having nightmares, hahaha; but ugh I'm going to be seventeen in a little more than a month and it's just starting to dawn on me about what I really want to do with my life. I really enjoy a wide variety of things and it's like, you can only choose one major Bizz!! Now GO TO COLLEGE AND BE BADASS LIKE THAT

If there's one thing I don't like, it's being in one place for too long. ;-;
Take me to Japan.

Today I felt a real, true, genuine sense of confidence.
It's growing bigger and bigger and the nightmares I used to have before about drowning and natural disasters are being replaced by really fun ones about flying and unusual ones that give me good story ideas.
I think it's awesome.

Solo/ensemble contests are on my birthday this year <3
I signed up today!!
I think my friend wants to do a duet with me... and if we do, it'll be a symbol of our long friendship that will never really die and never really has and it makes me so happy I could wet myself. <3
[/high]

Bizzmaster Wigglytuff wrote:is it really about the money you make?

Hell no
If you love your job, that's all you need really. You should always go for the job you want over the job that pays more.
I say this with all of my no experience backing me up

Also, gratz

I know how you feel; I went through the whole application process last year, and before that, the stress of working out what I wanted to do. I'm still not entirely sure if I'm going in the right direction, but I think things will work out.

Don't worry too much, you've still got plenty of time to choose, and it sounds like you really have a lot going for you. When you do, pick something you love to do; it isn't about the money. It's not even cut-and-dried once you're in college; you can enter most places without declaring a major, and you can always change majors if things aren't working out-- or double major if you have multiple interests! I have a friend who couldn't decide between biology and cello. She's studying both. And sometimes you find a way to combine your interests. I couldn't decide between art, writing, and programming; I ended up in computer science, minoring in art, and aiming for a career in game design.

If you're starting to look at colleges, I'd look at ones with strong programs in multiple fields that you're interested in. That way, you'll do well regardless of what you choose to study.

I know how you feel about failure, too. It's after me every day, that nagging feeling that I won't make it, that things won't work out. Recently I've been getting kind of depressed, because one of my important classes is going badly and it's getting harder to imagine things being okay. I just have to remind myself that it's not the end of the world-- things may get easier, and I'm doing all right in all my other courses, I've got a bit of talent in things going for me, and I have friends. Second chances exist. If I don't get any better in this class, I might drop it and take it again next year. I guess what I'm getting at is that choices you make now are not the end of the world. If you make a mistake, you can fix it. Confidence and determination will get you through a lot.

So do what feels right for you. Pray about it, if you're religious. Pick a major you'll love, and if you don't love it, you can change it. If a screwup like me can survive the college decision process, you definitely can.

I know it's cliche, but:

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

Courage! I wish you luck!

P.S. Also, good luck with choir