Worst kind of troll

...
Yeah I dunno. There's this troll on another board who I'm currently trying my best to ignore. It would be rather easy except for this troll remembers me from three years ago and has decided to up the antagonism factor. It's kind of ridiculous. May post quotes later for y'all to laugh at.

I dunno. This is a hard choice to pick. I'm trying to think of who I thought was the biggest asshole from SF and see whom fits where.

First choice: The obvious candidate here would be Masu. No doubt. But I don't hate Masu. So I guess not.

Second Choice: This I would guess would be that Loki guy. But I never really hated him. He was annoying, but I felt bad for him mostly. It can't be easy being stupid and hated. And have nothing positive going for you.

Third choice: Suzaku. Hands down. He was fun though. Cause he was a dick and everyone hated him and he was fun to rip on. This is the best kind of troll.

4th Choice: Shuuda. Totally Shuuda. He was a holier than thou asshole who couldn't take it when people punched back. He even wrote me a PM when I made a low blow. Granted, it WAS a low blow. But when you push a guy into a corner and don't let up, when the other guy just wants you to shaddup for a while, that's when they fight back with the big gloves.

He hates me cause I got into his head. But he was more of a crybaby than a troll.

5th Choice: Blacken. Blacken Blacken Blacken. What made him so bad though was how he was in bed with Jyosua. So on any other forum he would have been gone within the first bullshit argument. He raised valid points, but he was such a cockhead about it, that it countered any argument he raised. Words and logic won't protect you when you piss a guy off enough that they raise a baseball bat to your head via Bear Jew style.

Personally, I'd go Stiglitz and shove my fist down his throat.

Also, Revan fits into this category. Another guy I would physically abuse if I met him. So I guess I can say that this is the worst kind of troll.


....If only I put this much work and research into my homework. Maybe I would have a better GPA.

The ones who think they're above everyone and are always malicious. They're the worst.

I eat trolls for breakfast. All of them taste good!

Hika

Eh, Shuuda might have been holier-than-thou, but at least he knew a little of what he was talking about sometimes.

Ladies, gentlemen, and space aliens, I present:
This guy.
So one day, I happened across this small Zelda board... I had thought it was long dead, but it had been revived. It brought back memories. It was late and I was tired and wanted a little mindless conversation before I went to sleep.

Me:
Whoa, I thought this place had closed...

Anyway, what are people thinking about the new Zelda for Wii? We've only seen the one piece of art for it... what do you think it'll be about?

Admittedly, it wasn't the greatest opening post.
Now I had seen this guy and remembered his complaining ways from years ago, but thought, Well, I was a bit more idiotic then, and maybe some of his arguments had a little validity... anyway, it wasn't the sort of topic to set him off, and I'd avoid arguments.
Well. The next post was indeed his.

This guy:
So let me get this straight. You're asking us to speculate on a game based on ONE unremarkable poster? How about YOU do all the speculating? Your guess is as good as ours.

Somebody else posted, complaining about the guy being a dick, and speculating a little. I again added to the discussion-- I was a bit of a jerk, but at any rate:

Me:
Quite frankly I don't even know why he's still here considering that back when I was a regular, everybody was an insufferable fool, and apparently we all still are. Oh well. I'm not going to bother arguing about him, after some of the people I've met.

At any rate, I'm wondering about that girl in the artwork. Everyone and their brother seems to think that she's some sort of personification of the Master Sword, and semi-official sources (Nintendo Power) seem to be encouraging the rumors, to the point where I wouldn't actually be surprised if she turned out to be something else entirely.

I'm also wondering about setting; maybe they'll give us someplace new to explore?

The Wii MotionPlus bit is pretty exciting; I've tried that out in other games, and it's really cool (the technology side of it is also rather awesome.)

This guy replied by bitching about the previous poster, and throwing in, "And I have more life than any of you ever will."

Well.
So the other person who's trying to hold a conversation rebuts this. I decide to ignore it. This guy jumps in again.

This guy:
(quoting prev. poster: Oh and if you have such an amazing life, then why are you compelled to wasting your time on a website you don't like (gametalk) with people you don't like (me and the rest of these people))

Unlike some people, I only come here once a day. I originally came here to chat about my favorite classic games, then found it's a bunch of idiots who are constantly asking "Who's the hottest?!?" and "What's your favorite?!?" instead of actual conversation. So it became my mission to get people out of video games and back into the real world. Got a problem with that? Tough.

...What.
I ignore and keep discussing, letting the others who have now joined the topic argue. Obviously this guy is crazy. No problem of mine.

Shortly I abandoned the topic, aware that it was falling quickly into off-topic argument. One of the other old regs who I'd been friends with directed me to a different copy of the board-- apparently another restoration attempt had been made elsewhere, and it was more active.
The saga would continue there...

True. Shuuda was the kind of guy that if I met him in real life, he wouldn't be a bad person. Just rather boring to be around. He was more of a killjoy than a troll. And more of a crybaby than a killjoy.

And that guy sounds like a SFer. Well, the bad SFers. Like all of Jyo's buddy buddies. You sure he isn't malefox?

I don't know. At any rate! The saga continues!

So I went onto the other restoration of the board! There were more people there. This guy did not appear to be there. Seeing that there was not a topic discussing the new game, I started one. This time I included more of my own speculation and opinion in the first post. It started out pretty well. People discussed things. ...And then!

This guy:
Oh, jeez, you're not getting enough useless speculation in your first thread? You have to make another one?

I decided, well, calling him out probably won't work.
Actually, screw that.

Me:
Said first consisting of off-topic arguments than useless speculation, I've abandoned it. I suppose this one will now fill up with arguments too; I guess I'll have to find my useless discussion somewhere else.

This guy:
Don't let the door hit your butt on the way out.

Another person also asked him to just leave if he was so dead set against speculation.
I figured, y'know what, I'm going to let the thread die, but I'll throw in a last shot. At first my reply was going to be passive-agressive jerk-ness, but I toned it down a bit.

Me:
Heh.
Okay, I'm well aware that the following note is at best useless and at worst ridicule fodder, but I'm leaving it anyway.

I see two plausible cases here.

Case one: You really believe in this "get people out of the forums so that they'll go have lives" crusade you claim to be on. In this case I pity you. Because not only is it utterly impossible, but the people you drive away from these boards will most likely join others in search of "pointless" conversation-- other boards that are likely more "addictive" and time-consuming. It's also misguided; on average, people don't spend nearly as much time here as you seem to think they do. I show up at most once or twice a day because quite frankly after spending the day stuffing my head full of applied math it's nice to take a few minutes to talk about something completely trivial. I can't speak for the others, but I'm pretty sure they're not here all day either. At any rate your arguments aren't likely to make people go out and do useful/worthwhile things anyway; mostly, you just piss them off.
At any rate, it's not going to work.

Case two (and, given that this is the internet, sadly the more likely case): You're a troll and you're just enjoying irritating us. Y'know what, if this is the case, I kind of pity you too, since you've resorted to irritating a small, insignificant corner of the internet for amusement, poking fun at what's likely a bunch of teenagers; not only that, but you've been doing so for the past couple of years at least.

Don't think you've driven me off. I'm just rather inclined to keep my posts to topics that, pointless or not, won't fill up with arguments.

Thus I elected to post no more in that thread. It was unnecessary, but I felt like posting it. A few others made half-hearted jabs or arguments at this guy. Then, he reappeared with this gem:

This guy:
That's what is so great about this country, Archer that would be me. You're entitled to your opinions, despite how completely wrong and utterly uneducated they are.

Lolwut?
Ah, I see that we've resorted to insults instead of backing up our arguments now. Right, I'd given him the benefit of the doubt that he wasn't an idiot because of the proper spelling and grammar... yeah, I was irritated at first, but now I'm laughing...

Hah, he's using that [number] amendment argument. He seems more like an insecure loser to me than a troll.

Except he's been doing this for at least three years, and has changed his backstory several times. I dunno, does that qualify him for troll-dom?
At any rate I lol'd.

Either he's terribly insecure or a troll. It's sad either way, but certainly lol worthy.

EDIT: Actually...trolling itself can sometimes be the sign insecurity. So...it can be both.

Report the post. The mods should warn him. Especially if the whole rest of the group is on your side.

I think they keep him around for the lulz, to be honest, else he'd have been banned years ago.
Heh, I'm still wondering where he got "uneducated" from (lol lol applied math...?). Best guess is that he used the principle of explosion.

HEY GUYS WE ALL DON'T HAVE LIVES xD

Lives are overrated.

I'd love to join and be a acomplete idiot just to mess with the guy

Oh man, that would be funny...

EDIT: I have a terrible, terrible idea.