The Traitor

Chapter 1: The Traitor
Footsteps race down a wet alley. The person slides in the water and appears to be a man about 20 years old. He looks left and right and sees soldiers wearing white uniforms, visors, and all carrying machine guns jogging towards him. The man looks angrily around and then looks at the building in front of him. He quickly turns behind him and puts his foot on the wall, he then jumps to the other wall and jumps back and forth going up the building. The men in uniform look shocked as the man jumps up the two walls and reach the rooftop. Once the man gets atop the roof he puts his hands on his knees and takes some deep breaths. Then behind him he hears a door open. He turns around scared to see a man who looks to be about 30 with evenly spiked black hair and bright blue eyes that create a sharp contrast to the gray sky, walks in. The man with the spiked hair smiles at the tired man in front of him. “Been awhile, hasn’t it, Thomas?” The young man, Thomas, looks at the older man and smiles, yet shows some fear in his eyes. “I-is that really you, Dragon?” The man with the black hair laughs a little and closes the door he walked through. “So you guys still refer me to my codename? Sorry to say break this, but it is me and I am going by my real name now.” Thomas looks around the roof and grits his teeth. “So it’s true, you really did betray us, Dominique?” The man with the black hair, Dominique, smiles. “I wouldn’t say ‘betrayed’, but yeah I left the group. I never really liked living in such poverty, and well once I left where else could someone with my ‘skills’ go to? The Capital is the logical place.” Thomas pulls out a switchblade and lunges at Dominique. Dominique quickly turns and dodges the lunge. Dominique then holds his foot out and trips Thomas, letting him fall to the ground. Thomas turns around angrily, but sees a gun pointed in his face. “Sorry, Tom but I can’t let you go. No hard feelings?” Thomas just grits his teeth. “I’ll damn your name to the grave you traitor!” Dominique just pulls the trigger and Thomas falls to the ground. Dominique turns around and holsters the gun then looks at the gray sky. “I’d feel bad if you didn’t, Thomas.”

The guards who were in the alley break through the door and see Dominique standing next to the body of Thomas. The guards immediately stand at attention. “Sir, we didn’t know it was you.” Dominique just casually walks by the soldiers. “At ease guys, no need to be formal with me.” Dominique walks past the soldiers, not seeing what they do after, and to a bike parked outside of the building. He mounts the bike and puts on a black helmet and kicks the bike off. He rides it off and speeds by many soldiers dressed in white. As he zips by he thinks about Thomas. “Sorry kid. I actually did like you, but this is different now. I am no longer apart of the Rebellion. I wonder how the Lion will react to this. He will know I did it, that much is assured…” Dominique thinks about a man with long blonde hair, with extra sharp canine teeth and sharp orange eyes. “Leon, what will you try to do next?” Before he can think deeper into this, he drives up to a huge castle-like building and gets off his bike. He walks into the large building and just wanders around random halls. “The Capital. Such a ritzy place, especially when you consider the conditions outside, utter destruction. This place used to be so prosperous, till about 20 years ago when the current president came to power. He became paranoid and decided that his kingdom would overthrow him, so he blew them all away. Half of this country are unlivable from radiation, the part that is has rebel groups controlling them trying to fight back against the tyranny. These rebel groups fall on a map and are divided into 26 parts. Rebel Group A was the group I belonged to with my best friend, Leon. We would fight the capital tooth and nail, never giving up. We were helped when most of a special division of capital soldiers split from the Capital. These soldiers trained out group specifically to fight and gave us, essentially, superhuman athleticism. They even integrated themselves into our group and provided more help. Leon and I had all we wanted, until we didn’t. A few disagreements here and there and the loss of someone both of us cared for deeply separated our bond. I chose to leave and, due to humiliation, joined the Capital. Due to my knowledge of the Rebels I was immediately promoted to General, a not so popular choice among the other five Generals.” Suddenly a soldier runs up and interrupts Dominique’s thinking. “General Dragon, we have an urgent errand for you. There is a small rebel attack in Sector U. The President has specifically requested you to handle it.” Dominique looks at the soldier and without another word walks to his bike and rides off. As he rides he knows what is going on. “Sector U is easy to handle, no threat. I must still not be trusted. They keep giving me assassination jobs, I guess to prove I can kill my former allies. The thing is, Sector U was never an ally of ours. I don’t know why they want me to do this, maybe they want me dead. Doesn’t really matter, I am a soldier now. I’m not paid to think.”

Dominique pulls his bike up next to some small fortifications and looks around at the scene. Small fighting, not too much. He takes his helmet off and sets it on his bike, then walks to the soldier in charge. “May I handle this?” The soldier looks surprised at Dominique’s arrival, but collects himself. “O-of course, sir!” Dominique looks at the 10 enemy soldiers around and gives a sigh. “Such a waste of my talent.” He quickly walks back to his bike and picks up a sword. He walks back with the blade in his hand and unsheathes it. He then charges off onto the battlefield. The soldiers quickly react and start to fire at Dominique, who easily runs circles around the rebels. Before the rebels know it five of them are down, a gunshot takes a sixth down. Four more quick slashes take the others down. Dominique looks around bored and suddenly hears something metal clang on the ground next to him. He looks to see a knife with a purple handle. Dominique takes a deep breath, like he recognizes the knife, and suddenly it starts blinking. He immediately jumps back as the knife explodes. As soon as it does about fifty more rebels run on the field. Dominique looks at the group and then where the knife was. “But that knife was one of hers.” Just then he registers gunshots and remembers he is in a battle. He looks at the uniformed capital soldiers firing at the un-uniformed rebels. Dominique turns and runs in to aid the Capital. He slashes one, two, and three rebels in a row with quick fluent motions. He then turns and cuts a bullet that’s flying towards him and returns a bullet of his own into the rebel’s skull. As he does he registers two rebels appear right beside of him, blades drawn. Before he can react two shots are fired right into their throats. The rebels fall back, choking on their blood, as Dominique looks back with a smile on his face as a woman with purple curls walks up to Dominique. “Saved your ass again, what else is new?” Dominique laughs at the woman happily. “Oh Celeste have some pity on me, will you?” The woman, Celeste, turns her head. “I should let someone kill you.” Dominique just gives her a grin. “But if you did that, then you’d be bored.” Celeste spins the sniper rifle she’s been holding in her hand and hits Dominique in the back of the head with it. “Idiot! I left the rebels and followed you.” Dominique holds the back of his head and smiles. “So you’d be bored if I died.” Celeste’s face turns a bright red and she angrily turns around. “Idiot!” In the background of the talk those two soldiers who were shot in the throat gag on their blood still. Dominique and Celeste finally hear this and without another word Celeste holds up her sniper rifle and shoots the two soldiers in the head, putting them out of their misery. “Thought they’d have died by now.” Dominique just looks at Celeste’s serious and cold expression and sighs a little. “I know what you mean…”

Seems pretty interesting so far.The only advice I have is to paragraph things a bit more so it doesn't look like big text blocks. usually when there's a converdation, text is seperate from rest of the text:

Like you had you text and story doing on here la la la, "then maybe one character talking"

"Then the other character replies."

Then the story goes on blah blah blah tidal wave.

Kinda like that. I like it so far though. I look forward to more.

I'll try to work on it. Thanks for the reply Princess