Not Enough Fishes: A L4D story

So, last night Masu and I were playing L4D. Rozen had already left, and Kiba had rage quit long ago, so we had this guy "Cpl Sean" on our team. Sean BTW had an epic voice that was twice as deep as Yuri Lowell's, and 10 times more badass. So we were playing Dead air, and finally got to the 4th stage cause we couldn't get that far cause the enemy team would rage quit before we finished every single time. Cause we're that badass.

So it's the three of us. And just before we start, another guy joins our team: "Too Many Fishes." At first he seemed like a regular guy, he wasn't a bad player, and he didn't try jumping off a ledge at any point, so we thought we'd keep him on.

So we were playing, and the first warning light came on when we got to the Van-bit. Masu went down to activate the Van, and he got huntered after activating it. Of course, at the same time, A boomer got Sean and I, so the horde was clamping down on us. I was on my way down to help Masu, when Fishes had already got to him. So everything was fine. Masu came up the stairs to help me and Sean, only to get smokered or something. Fishes had stayed down around where the Van was, and Sean and I were trying to help Masu. We got Boomed on again, but Sean managed to get to Masu. Meanwhile, Fishes was screaming in our ear about: "Get rid of the horde! Get rid of the horde! Wow...You guys suck." The rest of us were too busy killing the horde and trying to get to the objective to really care, but I remember saying: "Uh. Yeah. Working on that dude."

So we keep moving towards where the Van was, and Fishes apparently thought we hadn't alerted the horde, despite the fact that we all had at least 7+ zombies on us the entire time, and went: "Oh. You guys already alerted the horde. My bad." I was willing to forgive and forget. It was an honest mistake. I suppose I'd be pissed too if my team had not alerted the horde and showed no interest in doing so while I was alone trying to alert them. So I let it slide.

However, throughout the baggage area he was constantly repeating: "Get rid of the horde! Wow. You guys suck." Which was no less than irksome, and as we got to the end of the baggage area, we heard a witch. Now, I'm not sure if it was a glitch on my part and no one elses, but it sounded like the witch was already pissed off and ready to kill someone, I never even saw her. But I assume she was outside the door, cause Fishes was screaming in our ear: "GET AWAY FROM THE DOOR! CLOSE THE DOOR! GET RID OF THE HORDE! STOP SHOOTING THE DOOR!" BTW, the horde was COMING from the door, so I wasn't sure what he wanted. So I did what I wanted to do, and shot the horde coming from the door. A hunter had already smashed one side, and I think Sean, Fishes, and I were all boomered, so we had a horde. So we ignored the witch, while she was still screaming in my ear as we all pummeled the horde, Fishes yelling: "I'll take care of the witch! Let me handle the witch!" So Masu did what anyone should, he charged a power-shot, and one shotted the witch.

Naturally, this freaked Fishes out. "WHY DID YOU SHOOT THE WITCH!?!?! I TOLD YOU--" That was the point when he realized the witch was dead, but you wouldn't figure that from how the soundtrack was glitching, telling me that the witch was very well alive and was now running around. But louder than that was fishes's bitching:

"WHY DID YOU SUPER-SHOT THE WITCH!?! YOU FUCKING GLITCHER! YOU DON'T SUPER SHOT THE WITCH! WHY'D YOU DO IT!?"

Here are the following reasons. And Kiba, you should take note of this as well:

-Supershot, when it hits, will always kill the witch. 9/10 times, it will succede the 1 chance being due to just regular error.
-The assault rifle is way more accurate than the Auto-shotgun, therefore, you can hit the witch at range, and if you DO screw up, you can run away before the witch murders you. Unlike if you screw up with the auto shotgun.
-All you need to do is wait with super shot. Auto shotgun is very risky when compared to super shot.

"OMG, YOU GUYS SUCK!" Constantly repeated in our ears as the horde, boomer, hunter, and smoker all assaulted us. Eventually this happened:

"YOU GUYS SUCK! .....BTW, I'm pinned, help me." ((KarolSage has saved TooManyFishes) "Yeah, you guys suck."
^^^This caused me and Masu to laugh our asses off. Even Sean, who had been mostly silent the entire time, perhaps to conserve his baddass voice, was snickering at how much fail this guy was exerting.

And of course, we noted that to Fishes, who decided to down us all and get huntered as we were climbing the stairs. As he tried to kick KarolSage the entire time, while me and Sean were like: "Lol. No." I even tried to kick Fishes, but Masu and Sean decided he was far too funny to not keep around. So we let him stay.

Now, you may think that at that point we would quit. And most people would. But not us. The enemy team were playing as the survivors and Fishes was friends with them, hence why he decided to get into a party chat with all of them so he was probably feeding them information about where we were and such the entire time, but it didn't matter to us. We were losing anyway, and we were having too much fun plotting Fishes's downfall and laughing about his epicness. So we weren't trying to hard either.

Eventually it's our turn. And to mock Fishes mercilessly, we super-shot him, and then he gets downed by a hunter. Karol Sage starts picking him up, while me and Sean both charge supershots to down him as soon as he gets all the way up. We didn't even care about the game anymore. So he gets up, but we get boomered on, and Fishes moves around, so we miss the super shot and get downed, by Fishes who is using an auto shot-gun. Eventually he downs us all, but we nail him as we're all down, laughing our asses off. A stray hunter helps Fishes up and he runs over to me and tea-bags my corpse.

I say: "Oh my Fishes~ I love it when you do that~"

And Fishes says: "I bet you do."

It's rare to find someone that fails so much to make Kiba look 100% normal. And that's the story about TooManyFishes. Karol made him a preferred player.

This took me like, and hour to write. But it was worth every second.

why is it in downloads?

Mufasa wrote:Sean BTW had an epic voice that was twice as deep as Yuri Lowell's, and 10 times more badass.

Blasphamy.

Also, That was the best thing I have ever read.

Toa Lord Sothe wrote:why is it in downloads?

This has been invalidated.

Also this guy sounds like he would be fun to mock a shame I had to leave do to someone nagging me about time.

Well, had you not left, then we wouldn't have met him. But trust me, we mocked him plenty.

Still I wished I could of seen/heard this lol, sounds like I missed something fun.

It was very fun. It was worth taking an hour before having to go to school to do. An hour that I could have used to watch TV, or sleep. But this was far more worth it.

this was the best L4D player ever.

He was certainly pro. And his memory will live on, in this topic forever.

Oh man. this brings back so many memories of L4D1.

Remember at the start you could only do no mercy and blood harvest for versus? Man, those were the days. A whole whoping TWO map selection. And NOBODY did blood harvest, except at night time, when everyone did it for some odd reason, but we'd do no mercy like, 5 times instead of blood harvest lol.

Blood Harvest was awful. It was worse than Crash Course.

Cept the Finalie was alright. But it was just running through forests. No real good spots for insta kills, or hallway blowthrough of zomibes. just more running around.

also, I miss too many Fishes. I wonder what he's up to.

The thing I hated about harvest was that, besides the 2nd stage where youre in a warehouse, then a wrecked train passage, theyre ALL "FOREST." and all look the same. its suck

Yeah. That one stage was alright.

But compared to like, Dead Air, or No Mercy, or even Death Toll, they were all really varried.

Man, remember the patch with survival mode? The one and only free thing Valve released for the 360 version of L4D? It was fucking amazing being able to do Death Toll and Dead Air on versus mode. Im trying to remember Death Toll's stages. I just remember the roofs on that stage sucked ass (or at least the shanty town stage)

Death toll had the sewers, the church, that one town place, and then it ended with the boat finale. That's all I remember really.

Oh ya, it started wtih the highway first. then the sewers, then the town/church/cemetery, then the actual town with the shit roofs,then the boat house finale

Yeah. That.

....The maps in L4D 1 were a lot better now that I think about it. The L4D2 ones have too much stuff in it. I never had the problem of getting stuck behind shit in the first one.

*runs backwards to shoot horde. Gets stuck behind a pole. Gets raped by horde.*

As opposed to:

*Run backwards. Win game.*

Yea, L4D2 is a bit over the top. Its still good, but I yearn for the simplicity of L4D1 sometimes.

Now im worried though, do you think the servers are dead/shitty? Remember when L4D2 was a few days off, the servers went to shit

That's true....I certainly hope not.

I mean, it wouldn't matter all that much when No Mercy comes to L4D2, cept lackage of Dead Air.

But I would hope they kept it up a bit. And I think they will, cause The Sacrifice is coming to the first one, so they're acknowledging that people still play it.

Lol I enjoy L4D more sometimes than the 2nd one.