Video Game Plot Summaries on Crack

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BetterThanItSoundsVideoGames

It was good enough for me to read the entire page. It took hours

This is kind of cool because the game titles are hidden, so you can try to guess which game they're talking about.
Also worth looking up games to see how they were summarized

As an example here is the Tales series:

Tales Of Phantasia: A hero chosen by fate receives the blessing of his Gods and sets out on a quest to save his world, the hopes of his people carried on his shoulders. You must stop him at all costs.

Tales Of Destiny: A boy with a talking sword must save the world from evil businessmen. This involves time travel.

Tales Of Destiny 2: Kid Hero tries to avenge the previous hero. The man who betrayed his father comes back to life to help him.

Tales Of Eternia: The sky is falling. The world's only hope is a guy in a really fruity hat. Failing that, a guy in a really fruity shirt. You are the guy in the shirt.

Tales Of Symphonia: You fight against angels led by a legendary hero and ruin his plans for world peace.

Tales Of Symphonia Dawn of the New World: A Woobie Destroyer Of Worlds with a severe bipolar disorder sets off on a quest to catch'em all while his Clingy Jealous Girlfriend constantly tells him to be a man.

Tales of the World: Narikiri Dungeon: A fanboy and a fangirl alternately break and fix the timeline through cosplay. Extreme cosplay.

Tales Of The Abyss: A young aristocrat suffers a severe emotional crisis, is betrayed by his most trusted ally, abandoned by his family and country, treated with contempt by his friends, and attempts to kill himself repeatedly.

Tales Of Legendia: An Ex-marine punches things to death while searching for his sister on a ship bigger than some continents.

Tales Of Rebirth: A White Haired Pretty Boy fights racism and screams his girlfriend's name in a really dramatic fashion.

Tales Of Innocence: A general becomes a schoolboy, then has an identity crisis. His lover and sword follow suit. Don't ask what happened to his pet dragon.

Tales Of Vesperia: A hooligan goes on a quest to fix a fountain, but ends up in everyone else's quests. His friend disapproves.

Tales Of Hearts: A girl's heart breaks, and her friends take her on a journey to put it back together. Later, they save the world from a giant soul-eating flower from space. All this happens by way of Power Of Friendship.

Tales Of The Tempest: Fantastic Racism with werewolves! Considered non-canon... for a series with almost zero continuity.

Tales Of Graces: A young drop-out knight saves the world by befriending Cthulhu.

Here, I'll make a short(er) version if you don't want to look through the whole page
See if you can guess the games described below. I tried to pick good ones


Public domain monster movie characters battle each other, a perpetually-burning alien, and a demon who attacks by cutting himself.

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Aliens attack Earth with poor but well-regimented strategy.

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A guy's dad dies. This results in global war and nearly ends the world. Comes with the usual side order of dragons.

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Magic-using schoolgoers go on an adventure to save the whole solar system.

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Alien technology can be yours if you can survive a deserted planet. Be sure to bring plenty of ammo!

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Limbless man must eat a lot of yellow flies on a quest to awaken an omnipotent voodoo doll.

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Aliens and monsters race in cars that have no wheels. These cars will explode if they hit the sides of the tracks.

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In the early nineteenth century, a person finds a book in a New Mexico desert and becomes involved in the life of a troubled man and his family problems.

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Demon prince oversleeps, must reclaim kingdom with dead criminals.

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A boy saves the world using the power of teamwork... by himself.

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A gun-wielding delinquent and his mellow childhood friend team up with characters from other parallel universes to find their way back to their respective home worlds.

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A human gets turned into a monster after a personality test and is roped into rescuing other monsters in randomly generated dungeons. Said human nearly distracts a giant sky dragon from saving the world.

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A group of fated warriors solve global warming through violence.

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A young male teen gains the ability to summon demons and uses it to fight demons. And possibly the forces of heaven. No wonder it got stuck in Japan.

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Pirates try to conquer the universe using jellyfish, and the only one who can stop them is an orphaned girl raised by birds.

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A bartender pretends to be the world's greatest assassin on a quest to steal the power of Jesus, who was an alien.

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Two scientists make their robots fight each other.

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Cops break into a house and kill everyone inside.

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A carpenter climbs an unfinished tower in pursuit of a giant beast who has kidnapped his lover. Background music loops once to four times per second.

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Kickboxing champ hosts secret fighting tournament in order to humiliate players around the world.

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An androgynous creature enters the minds of children and absorbs their spirits into itself. And he's the Good Guy.

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You receive a letter from your dead wife. It all goes downhill from there.

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One man singlehandedly saves Burger Town from Russian Commandos. Almost everyone else dies.

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A cargo deliveryman escapes from being stranded on an alien world with a poisonous atmosphere with the help of an army of carrot-creatures.

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The cast of Disney's Robin Hood reenact various science fiction films.

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Fat man desecrates ancient ruins for money. A cat turns out to be a princess. An insane "diva" tries to kill them both. And there's Mr. Game & Watch involved.

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Bald clone murders for profit. No one seems to notice.

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A small blue mammal steals batteries from a fat man.

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The wedding of the Fan Preferred Couple nearly causes The End Of The World As We Know It. Everyman fixes things by repeatedly breaking the third wall.

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Wasps sting people and make them very hungry.

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You are an unarmed beggar who cannot survive a twenty-foot drop. You must fight through a crumbling, trap-filled palace brimming with guards. In an hour.

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You are simultaneously the two-most powerful beings on the planet and the biggest whiner in the galaxy.

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Superheroes get lost, wander around aimlessly, and occasionally stop to fight supervillains who are also wandering around aimlessly.

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A guy saves a girl in a short skirt from a man in a suit, then gets his friends to gang up on him. The bad ending is canon.

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An amnesiac rebels against her former employers, one of whom is a clown.

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A bunch of girls in a Fantasy Kitchen Sink settle disputes with Extreme Dodgeball.

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An animal-cosplayer spends a night visiting a hospital, beating up patients and the personnel currently in charge and hiding on statues.

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In the world of exotic animal fighting, a boy settles for shooting them instead.

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An ancient ring possessing ultimate power must be destroyed before the evil forces seeking it can obtain it and use it to destroy all life. No, not that one, this one has Space Marines.

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Put yourself in power; cut back on funding. YOU WILL REGRET THIS!

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Defeat the Sealed Evil In A Can so you can jam sharp glass into your face.

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A Shotoclone fights in a tournament hosted by his father, a Corrupt Corporate Executive. Shotoclone wins and tosses his dad off a cliff.

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Earth is conquered, and our only hope is to go after the wife of the one responsible.

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A serial killer hopes to please his current boss by killing his old boss.

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Ghost calls on the spirits of the dead to protect him from monsters, even though it can't be killed.

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Teenager gets marooned on a fantasy planet. His girlfriend is whomever he sucks up to the most.

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A sentient android who is also a Heroic Mime discovers alien life, travels through time, and saves the world from evil robot spiders.

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Guy named after a penis builds a fortress named after a clitoris and is defeated by a guy named after an erection.

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You can break your opponent's clothing. What do you mean that sounds gratuitious? Also, Darth Vader fights ninjas.

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You drive around in circles for a while. In order to drive around in longer and more complex circles, it is necessary to take license tests.

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Immigration leads to a race war. The immigrants win.

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Japanese characters meet another group of Japanese characters and join them on a quest to save the multiverse while not beating up one another.

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Dolls are brought to life in order to fight each other.

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A blue-collar repairman can cure any disease, but only if he administers the medications in exactly the right order.

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Eight different high school students solve local murders by watching TV all night long.

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A Technical Pacifist kills a bunch of animals and a bald man. His friend dies.

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A policeman arrives in a town and starts shooting its residents. Meanwhile, an evil corporation conspires to invent skin cream.

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Guy with premature aging must stop the evil schemes of another guy who wears a party mask.

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A fairy princess frees her friends from brainwashing by dropping blocks of garbage on them. Developers decide this plot won't sell in America, so they let Yoshi and Ash Ketchum save the day instead.

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A redneck and a snarky girl team up to kill an old woman and do jigsaw puzzles. Redneck's sister narrowly escapes transformation into an ogre. Lots of shameless dirty jokes. Rated E.

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Pirates steal a girl's pet. She goes on a rampage to get it back.

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Thieves kidnap a young princess as part of a political coup. They're the good guys.

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You're hired to find out what happened to the daughter of the head of the spaceship you live on. You commit genocide on the planet you're trying to colonize only to discover the daughter's been absorbed by the Eldritch Abomination.

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Water elemental tries to Kill All Humans to avenge the actions of red mammals. The blue mammal's friends learn that they don't need him. A cat goes fishing. A soldier heroically kills himself and his entire family.

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In a desert wasteland, an older boy takes other people's monsters in order to perform therapy for them.

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Guy who eats pizza in slow-mo gets his shop ruined and goes after his Evil Twin who did it, climbing a "thick shaft that causes women to shudder" in the process. They are forced to team up against a bald guy with Boat Lights who turns into a blob through their father's power. The Evil Twin falls off a cliff.

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A construction company and a demolition company which are administered by the same person fight over each other's briefcases, land rights, and proper waste disposal procedure, all while the teenager complains about the lack of necessary equipment on his side.

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The game is based around colored gems being dropped into holes. It is not a puzzle game.

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A lot of people join the heroine's party and die. But not in that order.

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You raise hares, mis-named wolves, pet rocks, Cute Monster Girls, eyeballs, and traditional Japanese rice cakes on a farm. Then they die.

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A teenage boy goes to a fair. Apocalypse ensues.

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Two numbers, three lines, and a dot.

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Military commanders discover that by taking turns leading a single army, they can rend the very fabric of time. The hero shoots an old man's wheelchair.

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A girl is kidnapped, but the main character decides that's too easy and rescues seven.

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A group of people are at the complete, utter mercy of a whimsical and cruel god who alternates between deleting their toilets and trapping them inside the very walls of their own homes.

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You find yourself in a world where working out is Serious Business. Your Arch Enemy is metabolic syndrome. Your sidekicks are a piggy bank, a talking scale, and a fitness trainer who may or may not be an android. During the course of your adventure, you will avoid panda heads, be turned into a pool ball, and attempt to meditate while an insane sensei screams at you if you don't sit still.

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A woman in red leather causes havoc, and just about everyone wants her to stop.

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Overweight hero calls his brother a homosexual while going out on a picnic. They proceed to shut a lot of doors in order to condemn buildings. Enclosed within is an instruction book.

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Two brothers play on the Internet.

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Scrawny kid with no name works his way to the top of the boxing circuit. Many of his opponents are blatant cheaters, and some aren't even boxers.

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Miserly king offers his daughter's hand in marriage to backstabbers, looters and kill-stealers.

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A giant evil brain turns a bitch into an even bigger bitch and entices two warring empires to unite and try to kill her. They fail miserably.

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Brave heroes join up to hunt down the source of the world's air pollution. They argue over who gets stuck with a bucket.

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Two sad old men fight over drugs.

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Building supplies drop from the sky, and you must use them to erase any sign of your hard work to build the Kremlin. Failure Is The Only Option.

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You become the indentured servant of a raccoon. Your neighbors randomly hand out pianos, computers, and beds as rewards for completing minor chores.

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A rabbit cat which looks exactly like a rabbit blows up balloons and throws them at wild animals.

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Boy is banished from his homeland and persecuted by the government for being the legendary hero.

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A hero's attempts to slay a dragon are delayed when everyone makes him/her solve their problems first.

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Stereotypes from around the world explore their grudges in a secret worldwide tournament hosted by a messianic corporate executive in a banana hammock.

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Break the laws of physics repeatedly while being carted around a desolate laboratory by an insane computer.

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Furries set aside their differences to battle the real menace: parasitic insects.

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One boy must recover his lost memories, the other must conquer his darkness. They accomplish this using trading cards.

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An all-consuming glutton is haunted by the undead.

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Family tradition dictates the murder of an old man in his own home. He gets better.

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Once upon a time, five strangers took up gardening. There were no survivors.

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A prince must pick up litter in order to make up for his father's alcoholism.

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Nerdy but dangerous White Haired Pretty Boy wishes to become protagonist in order to win the game. Alternatively, demon wishes to open his heart so he can turn to evil; chainsaws are considered but ultimately rejected as impractical.

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Dead people kill things and eat food in order to dress the most macho of them in the girliest clothing ever.

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Explore space searching for why the Neglectful Precursors haven't give you a call lately.

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A young woman searches for her lost love by playing dress-up.

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You talk to some helpful NPC's which prepare you to endlessly commit genocide against snails, mushrooms, slimes, walking stumps, and pigs that may or may not wear ribbons. From there, the slaughter continues...

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Three orphans do the same thing again and again whether they like it or not. The player will have a hankering for meat buns.

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Transvestites defend the world by giving a giant dragon acupuncture.

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Puffball races on star-like machines, except sometimes they're not very star-like at all.

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The President's daughter has been kidnapped by Spaniards! Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the President's daughter?

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Counter-terrorists attempt to thwart terrorists, usually by hopping like complete idiots and calling everyone "gay".

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Mammals befriend a robot. One of them beats it to death.

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You and your friends are surrounded by fast zombies and friendly fire is on.

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The greatest stair-climbing simulator in history.

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that was amazing. and fun to do. If you have any more of those feel free to throw them up here

"You talk to some helpful NPC's which prepare you to endlessly commit genocide against snails, mushrooms, slimes, walking stumps, and pigs that may or may not wear ribbons. From there, the slaughter continues..."

"A boy saves the world using the power of teamwork... by himself."

"A girl is kidnapped, but the main character decides that's too easy and rescues seven."

HiLARIOUS

My post about books gave me the idea to do the same thing, but for something people actually care about.
Instead, here are some video games I thought of.

Bowser kidnaps the princess, then attempts to confuse Mario by staying in the castle instead of running away.
When this fails, he uses extremely vague magic to turn the castle into a deathtrap.
He's finally thwarted by Mario's ravenous hunger for cake. Don't underestimate fat people.

King K. Rool sneaks onto DK Isle, steals all of Donkey Kong's gold, kidnaps his friends, fills the island with his own henchmen, and prepares to destroy it with a giant laser.
In response, Donkey Kong buys a gun and says "YYYEEEAAAHHH". Things go pretty badly for K. Rool after that.
The best part of the game is the DK Rap. If you haven't seen it yet, you're required by law to do so now. It's an important cultural experience. Also, DK's gun is in it.
This game was one of the first I played, and it taught me a valuable life lesson: Even if there are lots of playable characters, it's possible for the most awesome one to be a girl.

A bear and a bird climb a tower for several hours, then fight a witch. This is punctuated by the bear turning into a pumpkin, the bird being extremely sarcastic and firing eggs out of her mouth, and hidden dialogue about a dildo. Then there's a game show.
In other words, this is one of the best games ever made.
Also: I really hate snowmen and oily water.

Banjo-Kazooie, but with more sex jokes.

I did pretty well at this game.

The best part of the game is that you get a rare card for the real game.
Fight some guy named Imakuni, who makes cards featuring himself which are somehow legal. His only move is to confuse himself. When you beat him, he gives you a card pack containing only Energy cards. Due to the nature of the game, that's actually a good thing. I hate Energy cards.
The Elite Four's real strength is to use an attack that takes eight coin flips to tell how much damage it does, and the coin flip animation takes about three seconds. I hate this game.
But I could listen to its soundtrack all day.

Izanagidonutz wrote:this theme was like one wing angel to me

So true

This was one of the best games on the N64.
As a bonus, it came with some cool minigames, like the ability to have 3D Pokemon battles.

WELCOME BACK
YES
OH?
WONDERFUL
WAIT
YOU WERE CLOSE
WELL DONE

The best Pokemon game.
Partly because of the fast multiplayer action stuff, but mostly because DATS DAH FINALE, KID
Playing the game nowadays is dangerous because the music might make you remember the lyrics to songs from the show.
SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M NOT ON ANY ROAD WHATSOEVER AND YOU ARE A HOMOFAG FOR SUGGESTING SUCH A THING

Games based on movies always suck, and if anyone played this game besides me, they'd know that statement was completely wrong.
That might be because the game's only loosely based on the movie. I don't remember Buzz Lightyear fighting a mass of living slime that hops around.
Also, as always, the music.
Hey that's not fair why did the Playstation version get orchestrated themes

Remember those commercials where Mario would get arrested? Hahaha
This is back when Nintendo thought it was a good idea to include minigames where everyone had to work together. Eww, teamwork!
But there was one good thing that came out of it: Running of the Bulb, which is basically one-minute Left 4 Dead starring Mario Luigi.
The best minigame of all, however, is Skateboard Scamper. The fact that I can remember its name after all these years says something.
No, it does not say that I care too much about retarded games I played when I was a kid. Shut up.

I was playing video games before I even knew what they were.
This epic saga of an anthropomorphic car rampaging across time and space is the first (and only!) game where I had multiple save files. I needed one for when the crazy old prospector found gold and went berserk, so I could watch that part whenever I wanted.

The best game ever made.
The main point of this game is to click on the piece of broccoli in the stomach and see it grow into a giant disgusting broccoli with a face and hear it say "BROCCOLI-BROCCOLI-BROCCOLI-WOCCOLI". I think I'm starting to better understand why my personality is like this.
There's also an art feature, which lets you rub internal organs onto a canvas. I had lots of fun with that, let me tell you.
I should try to download this right away, shouldn't I?

As long as I'm on the subject of PC games based on psychedelic educational TV shows, here's this.
An evil satellite wants to let a meteor hit the Earth just to see what would happen. I got nightmares.
Worse, he forces you to answer his insane riddles which make little to no sense. IT WAS HARDER THAN FUCKING MYST FOR GOD'S SAKE

A guy falls in a hole. Then he falls in a book.
He's not a very lucky guy.
In this world, books hate you, and force you to solve a bunch of insane puzzles and sometimes imprison you.
You go to the super awesome gear-world and find a couple of torture chambers. But worse than that, there's THE HAZY MAZE CAVE, which I tried to map until I realized that the rail car thingy I was in kept turning a lot and going up and down while I wasn't looking. So then I just pushed buttons until I escaped somehow.
Many years later, my college roommate solved it. He is a hero.

"A FATE WORSE THAN ALL FATES
THE DREADED PAPER AIRPLANE SPACE"
You're supposed to have brought an iron to solve that specific problem, but I don't know if applying an iron to a paper document is such a good idea...

This game had a level editor, and I spent large amounts of time seeing how many bombs I could fit on the screen at once.
Always with "Techno Rave" playing. That's important.

Yeah, it's another semi-educational PC game, BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE.
THE POINT IS THAT ALL THE DIALOGUE IN THIS GAME IS AMAZING

Rathbone wrote:Youse is 'ere!
Youse is gotta get outta 'ere!

And also the title theme and introduction sequence.
...Who the hell's recording these and putting them on Youtube in HD!?

Dr. Brain wrote:Your score is......TWO

Aaahehehehe! I'm just kidding.

The Zoombinis ran away from their evil overlords in search of a new home. They were doing pretty well, too, until they ran right into PIZZA TROLLS
Pizza trolls won't let you pass unless you make pizza for them. And they won't tell you what they actually want on the pizza, because, of course, they're trolls.
And if you give them the wrong kind of pizza THEY WILL BACKHAND YOU OVER THE FUCKING OCEAN
GOOD LUCK

Yet another one of the educational PC games I played while I was growing up. Yeah, there were a lot.
Featuring everyone's favorite character, The Butcher, and his room full of mutilated bodies! YAY
The trick is to open the door, then run away until you're behind a grate and fire arrows at him for a half hour until he dies. Haha sucker
This was the first of many, many games in which my official stance on magic was "Magic? That's the stuff I can use to heal myself, right?"


Okay, fine, I'll stop with the old PC crap.
I'll take a break here and come back with real games later.

Man this is freaking amazing.

Thanks lol

I'm too asleep to write any more today, but I did find a Let's Play of that game with the broccoli. I'm laughing at it way too much

Dorothy Ann wrote:What do you think of my volcano project?

HoZKiNZ wrote:IT'S SHIT

I haven't heard of a few of these games.

Raine Sage wrote:I haven't heard of a few of these games.

Most of them ended up being old kids' educational games for PC. Following patterns makes things easier, all right!?

So I'd be surprised if you HAD heard of them.

I'm planning on posting again, but with games people are more likely to have heard of. Not today though because zzzzzzzz

I got two

Divine Being gives the power to make rumors a reality, insanity and Hitler ensue

Spoiler:

Group of hero's try to stop a giant tree from getting the power to suck people into a giant vacuum cleaner

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That is a nice summary of FFV sadly it's pretty accurate.

Kraft Lawrence wrote:That is a nice summary of FFV sadly it's pretty accurate.

Yeah, when you put in about 80 hours into a game just for getting all the jobs mastered and getting lvl 99 and still coming up short you kinda know what's goin on.

, cant help but laugh at some of these, especially some of Metal Gear ones ("Two sad old men fight over drugs.") and furries? (never would've actually looked at Star Fox that way)

Alright let me try to take a stab at making plot summaries for a series

Final Fantasy
Four hero's try to save their world only to create a TIME PARADOX

Final Fantasy 2
Three hero's try to help a resistance faction by going on various fetch quest and ultimately finding their long lost emo buddy

Final Fantasy 3
4 people magically get the ablity to learn every major way of asskicking in the world, only to discover that it's floating

Final Fantasy 4
Confused hero joins the light side after eating all the cookies the Dark Side had to offer.

Final Fantasy 5
The kids from the Captain Planet show minus that heart bastard try to save the world from a tree that's sucking up all the world and it's pollutants

Final Fantasy 6
Group of rebel's try to end the reign of an emperor and his sadistic Clown. Only to lose all sense of plot after the first half of the game.

Final Fantasy 7
Dude with Amnesia, Sterotypic Black Man, and obligitory big chested female along with others try to stop corporation and then a yaoi fangirls dream character from destroying the world

Final Fantasy 8
Death Metal Like plot, depressing, loud, obnoxious, the main person sounds depressed and the entire game sucks

Final Fantasy 9
Monkey-boy kidnaps a princess and a story to save the world comes from it

Final Fantasy 10
Anti-Squall makes his appearance to help a group of misfits destroy a giant whale

Obviously, I enjoyed the Castlevania one very much.