Rozencrutz plays Dragon Age, Lord help us all.

Alright a warning, anyone who wants to play Dragon Age spoilers are ahead.

So new game, Opening Cutscene alright some text.

"And so is the Golden City blackened
With each step you take in my Hall
Marvel at perfection, for it is fleeting.
You have brought Sin to Heaven
And doom upon all the world."

-Canticle of Threnodies 8:13.... Great Religious BS

Alright fire is consuming the screen....

Narrator: The Chantry teaches that it is the hubris of men which brought the darkspawn into the world. The mages had saught to usurp Heaven, but instead the destroyed it.

Also another note I get the feeling the Chantry is a stab at religion so I will probably make fun of it ALOT. So in this world heaven is gone, well that sucks, no point in hoping for a good afterlife.

Some very creepy images and shapeshifting people....

Narrator: The mages were cast out, twisted and cursed by their own corruption, returning as monsters, the first Darkspawn, they became a blight upon the lands completely unstoppable, and relentless.

So basically there is aboslutely no hope for this world at all, wow what a great way to start a game.

Narrator: The dwarven kingdoms were the first to fall, and from the Deep Roads, the Darkspawn threw themselves at us again and again, until finally we neared annilation. Until the Grey Warden's came!

Oh snap let me guess some kind of super warriors that defeat the Darkspawn.

Narrator: Men and Women from every race, Warriors and Mages, Barbarians and Kings, The Grey Warden's sacrificed everything to stem the tide of the Darkspawn, and prevail.

So who totally called it.

Narrator: It has been four centuries since the first victory agaisnt the Darkspawn, and we have kept our vigil.

So the narrator is a Grey Warden.

Narrator: We have watched and waited, for the Darkspawn to return. But those who once called us heroes, have forgotten.

So no one takes the Darkspawn seriously, greeeeeeeeeatt.

Narrator: We are few now and our warnings have been ignored for too long, It may even be too late for I have seen with my eyes what lies on the horrizon, Maker help us all!

So yeah the Narrator is pretty kickass, he kills like five Darkspawn and kicks one over the ledge.

TO BE CONTINUED!
The Dalish Elves, (AKA the Origin I picked)

ic

The story sounds kinda interesting on its own, actually, if a bit predictable.
Although it's a bit early to call it predictable cause it's only the introduction

oh so you decided to actually do this huh? this will be fun to watch you do

First some music


Quest 1

The Dalish Elves

A little background, basically the Dalish elves are indians,
they were driven from their homeland by the Chantry for
their belief and freedom with magic, so this character will
hate the Chantry that is perfect for me.

Alright so this character shall be Kenta, and he is a
warrior, he fights with two weapons and a bow and wears
chainmail.

So it opens with Narrator again!

Narrator: You were born among the Dalish elves, honoring the
past of your ancestors you follow the old ways and seek a
land to call your own, this is the only life you have known
until one day.

Alright so panoramic of a forest, and there are humans men
running in terror to be cut off by two elves one is me and
my friend.

Friend: Alright Shemlen where are you going, you near the
camp of the Dalish.

Alright PAUSE, okay what is a Shemlen okay I am going to use
my amazing language skills to assume it is a human. Also
why are we aiming arrows at them for running in terror.

Kenta: Fenarel they are obviously fleeing from something
terrible.

Fenarel: Alright what are you running from?

Man: Monsters in a cave near here, there were relics and
then these huge eyes started staring at us and we ran all
the way here.

Kenta: Alright get out of here.

Fenarel: Hey we should go check out this ruin it could have
some relics of our past.

Kenta: We should tell the keeper.

Fenarel: You worry to much lethalin, come it shouldn't be
too dangerous.

Alright so I was all hey lets go tell someone who is going
to be a bit smarter about this, but oh no we have to go to
the cave of doom.

So five wolves die and about a ten minute walk and...

Current Location: Dark Cave of Doom

Fenarel: Well this looks like the right place lets go!

Kenta: Be careful we don't know what could be in here.

Fenarel: You worry too much.

I put money on he dies from a trap first foot that goes in
the cave.

So inside the cave, its big and structured and everything
but a cave, basically generic ruin generator go. Oh yeah
and giant man eating spiders.

And a statue....

Fenerel: Hey lethalin, what the heck is this, wait its one
of our gods.

So the Dalish are polytheistic, and pagans in this world and
on that note what the hell is lethalin, I am really hoping
its something like friend.

Kenta: Hey this could be a ruin.

Fenerel: Yeah we should go deeper.

Great logic here, we have the next Einstein here.
Also skeletons.....

Fenerel: WHAT ARE THESE THINGS.

Kenta: Undead? We should go tell the Keeper...

Fenerel: Ah you worry too much.

So I want to go back and say there are undead near our camp
and stuff and you are brushing it aside.

Also current location: Big room with Creepy black mirror in
the middle, also note the very big and creepy bear that has
bones sticking out of its back.....

Wait...

Boss Battle: BEARSKARN!

Fenerel: Wow that was a tough monster....

No dip sherlock....

Fenerel: Hey this mirror, something moved on the other side
of it I want to look at it.

Kenta: WE SHOULD GO BACK FENEREL

Fenerel: It's just a mirror, oh no...

Kenta: What....

Fenerel: HELP ME I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT NO!

Dark evil aura pulsates and exploades
BLACKOUT.....
Well great I just died....

Eyes open....

Narrator: I am so sorry....

WHY IS THE NARRATOR IN THE WOODS, WAIT WHEN DID I GET IN THE
WOODS

Many hours later.....

Keeper: Good to see you are well Lethalin, please be easy
the Grey Warden, Duncan/Narrator brought you here.

Kenta: Where is Fenarel?

Keeper: Duncan went looking for him, I want you to take my
apprentice and go join him.

Kenta: Alright...

Anyways, buy new equipment get basics on how the Dalish were
slaves, then freed then slaves again and they lost their
immortality because they lived near humans or Shemlen.
Also White Deer that are called Halla
Also side note I just got an awesome looking curved sword!

Alright Keepers Apprentice is named Menaril. Why do all the
names rhyme....

Menaril: Hurry we might be able to catch up with the Warden.

Kenta: Let's go!

So walk through the woods AGAIN, oh wait something new, A
genlock and hurlock...

MUSIC START!




Menaril: What are those things?

Kenta: They may be darkspawn.

Also there is a Genlock watching the entire conversation in
the background just standing their scratching his head.... I
am being seirous.

Menaril: We should hurry then....

Kenta: Right, the Warden is probably in the ruins.

So we kill Wally the Genlock, since he was just standing
there, about 40 more darkspawn later we get back to the
ruins where Duncan/Narrator is staring at the mirror.

Duncan/Narrator: Ah good to see you awake, so soon after
your accident.

Kenta: Have you found Fenarel?

Duncan/Narrator: I am sorry your friend is gone....

Kenta: What do you mean?

Duncan/Narrator: If you have not found him by now HE IS
GONE.

Kenta: But....

Menaril: I think we should take his advice....

I love how she just kinda came in the conversation for no
reason.

Duncan/Narrator: This mirror is what cursed you and took
your friends life it is an evil thing of the Tevinter
Imperium, it is what draws the Darkspawn to the woods.

Wait I'm cursed

Duncan smashes the mirror with an epic slash.

Duncan/Narrator: We must go I need to discuss something with
your keeper about you.

Kenta: What do you mean....

Duncan/Narrator: You are not cured, you are simply better, I
mean to discuss a cure.

Kenta: Very Well....

Menaril: What about these ruins can we come here to examine
the signs of elves living here?

Duncan/Narrator: No you must burn this place it is tainted
by the Darkspawn I suggest you do it soon before it claims
the woods.

So we go back to the camp and Duncan/Narrator goes to talk
to the keeper. I tell the storyteller to prepare a funeral
for Fenarel and I find out about my cure.

Duncan/Narrator: We have discussed your cure.

Keeper: You are to accompany him and become a Grey Warden.

Kenta: Well it is an honor but why?

Duncan/Narrator: We have a way to cure you, but you I am
recruiting Grey Wardens, you have a better chance of
surviving the initiation into the Wardens.

Great it sounds like a deathtrap, oh well I won't be cursed
apparently....

Anyways a sad farewell to everyone as I leave with
Duncan/Narrator, oh so sad, anyways on to my new life!

TO BE CONTINUED!

Quest 2 Joining the Grey Wardens

Getting more interesting.

So far my favorite character is Fenerel, even though he's dead.
If he's as vain as elves usually are, they should engrave this on his tombstone/monument:

In memory of Fenerel
He died as he lived- looking at himself in a mirror

Alternately

In memory of Fenerel
"You worry too much."

Quest 2 Joining the Grey Wardens Part 1 The Army Camp

Right view of the map of Fereldan showing you where you are
going.

Duncan/Narrator: We shall travel to Ostagar north of the Kocari
Wilds, there the men of Fereldan stood against the Tevinter
Imperium many years ago, it is appropriate that we make our stand
here even if it is a different foe we face in that forest. We
have fought many battles against the Darkspawn here but I fear
this battle will be the worst.

Man in Armor: Ho there Duncan.

Duncan/Narrator: King Cailan I didn't expect....

Cailan: A royal welcome? Please, it is no trouble I simply wanted
to meet your new recruit I take it this is he? Ho there friend.

Alright so why does he seem like a slight moron?

Kenta: An honor your majesty.

Cailan: Please drop the formalities, we will be sheading blood
together after all, I understand you are one of the Dalish, I
wish I knew more about your people.

Kenta: Well if the Chantry hadn't attacked us we would still have
much of our lore.

Duncan/Narrator: As I was saying, Your uncle sends his greetings
and reminds you that Redcliffe can send aid in two weeks time if
you need it.

Cailan: Eamon just wants in on the glory, but its just Darkspawn
we have won all the battles so far but alas there has been no
sign of an archdemon.

Duncan/Narrator: Dissapointed your majesty?

Cailan: I just wished for a battle like in the old tales, but
reguardless it is important to defeat the Blight here. I must be
going before Loghain sends out a search party.

Kenta: Are we really doing that well?

Duncan/Narrator: Sort of, but I can tell that this is a Blight
and they need to take it more seriously, but I cannot ask the
King to act on my feeling.

Kenta: What would you have him do?

Duncan/Narrator: Wait for reinforcements, and call for help from

Orlais, I want you to go find a young Grey Warden in the camp by
the name of Alistair, he will explain what is to come, for now
feel free to wonder around the camp.

Alright so Cailan is a moron, or he is just young, Duncan is
scared so we should be scared, and we need to find a guy named
Alistair this should be easy. FYI, Archdemon is a very big
tainted Dragon.

So I am going to wonder around the camp and find sidequests
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, cause the main story is boring anyways.
Hey this old lady looks like she might have one, wait she even
has a name SCORE.

Wynne: Hello there are you one of Duncan's new recruits?

Kenta: Yes, I am he.

Wynne: Good Duncan is a hard man to impress, you should be
honored to represent the Dalish by serving in the Wardens.

Kenta: Yes it is an honor....

Wynne: Do you know about the Darkspawns origins?

OH GOD NO NOT A HISTORY LESSON.

Wynne: The Chantry..... blah blah blah blah Gold City blah
blah......

Alright so a summary of this old ladies rant.
Chantry says mages are evil, and Wynne is a mage, so she must be
evil cause mages made the Darkspawn by going to Heaven and
pissing God off or the Maker as they call him. So what she is
really saying is that she is evil and should not be trusted.

Wynne: So what do you think.

Kenta: You humans and your chantry.

Wynne: It may be allegory but it is something to ponder.

Kenta: I just kill Darkspawn could care less where they come
from.

Wynne: Well you should be going I won't keep you...

Alright lets find someone else....

Kennel Master he sounds important.

Master: Could you help me by putting a muzzle on this dog that
swallowed some Darkspawn blood.

Kenta: Sure I like dogs....

Too bad he forgot to mention that this is a huge war dog that
could pass for a small bear.

Dog: Looks at you with intelligent eyes and lets you put the
muzzle on him.

Master: Could you find a flower with a red center when you go
into the wilds, it will help save the dog.

Kenta: Right I will take a look if I get the chance.

So lets go somewhere else.....
Hey the king's tent and Loghain's tent, lets see if we can talk
to one of them.

King's Guard: The king is out now, please try agian later

FFFF oh well lets talk to Loghain and see if he is in.

Loghain's Guard: YOU APPROACH THE TENT OF TERYN LOGHAIN STATE
YOUR BUSINESS.

Kenta: Who?

To make a long story short, Teryn Loghain is a hero of the
liberation of Fereldan from the Orleasian occupation, so he is
important?

Kenta: Can I talk to him?

Guard: Sure you may have a message for him...

Loghain: Yes what is it? Oh your Duncan's new recruit, a Dalish
Elf, huh?

Kenta: I am honored.

Loghain: Yes, tell me do you know how the Grey Warden's came to
be allowed in Fereldan?

Wait they weren't allowed they sound awfully important.

Kenta: No...

Loghain: Maric, Cailan's father allowed your order back in seeing
you as useful in case of a Blight, though Cailan seems to be a
bit star struck with the legends of your Order.

Kenta: A facination you don't share.

Loghain: You do not win a war with just one group of soldiers,
you win with strategy and tactics and the use of soldiers who are
skilled and taught to fight. The Grey Warden's are just elite
soldiers nothing more. Tell me will you be fighting on the front
line?

Kenta: I do not know.

Loghain: Well if Cailan has his way you will.

Kenta: What would you have him do?

Loghain: Adhere to my wisdom and experiance with battle, and not
put all faith on just one group of soldiers. Now I must go.

So yeah that was not scary at all. Anyways now off to find

Alistair. WAIT ANOTHER GUY WITH A NAME Daveth that sounds
important.

And he just got rejected by a woman lol.

Daveth: Ah your the new recruit?

Kenta: Yes

Daveth: Nice to meet you names Daveth I am a recruit like you.

Kenta: It is an honor isn't it.

Daveth: You sound like that knight who is also here as a recruit,
well if your here I should be getting back to Duncan then.

Alright lets keep going oh hell another guy with a name Ser Jory
huh.

Ser Jory: Hail ah an elf.... you are the other recruit....

Kenta: Do you have a problem with elves?

Ser Jory: No it's just I haven't seen any elves in the Warden's
is all, isn't it an honor to be chosen!

RACISM YOU WILL DIE FOR YOUR TREACHERY

Kenta: You aren't that smart are you?

Ser Jory: That's not fair I worked hard to get here and I am not
a coward, I just dreamed I would be able to serve as one of the
Grey Warden's is all. Well I should be getting back to Duncan.

Oh boy he denied being a coward. Five dollars says he runs when
he sees a Darkspawn.

Hey look a guy in a cage. So he is a deserter and he just wants
some food before he hangs huh? Alright, talks to guard next to
him and gets the food. Quest completed don't I feel so ultra
special.

Alright that NPC is named Alistair YES FINALLY I FOUND THE
SONOFA....

Mage Guy: WHAT DO YOU WANT

Alistair: I come with a message ser mage, the Reverend Mother
desires your presense.

Mage: WHAT SHE DESIRES IS NOT OF CONCERN TO ME I AM HELPING THE
GREY WARDENS AS PER THE KINGS ORDERS I MIGHT ADD....

Alistair: Should I of asked her to write a note?

Rage Mage: I WILL NOT BE HARASSED IN THIS MANNER.

Alistair: I was harrasing you by delivering a message.

Rage Mage: WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME

Alistair: And here we were getting along great I was even going
name one of my children after you THE GRUMPY ONE.

RAGE Mage: FINE I WILL SEE WHAT SHE WANTS OUT OF MY WAY FOOL.

I walk up.

Alistair: You know one thing about the Blight is how we all get
along so well and brings us all together.

Kenta: I know right

Alistair: It's like a party, we should all join hand and start
singing, that will give those Darkspawn something to think about.

Kenta: What was up with the mage.

Alistair: Oh nothing just delivering a message, you don't happen
to be another mage.

Kenta: (Looks at armor and weapon) Do I look like it?

Alistair: You never know they like to sneak up on me, wait your
the new recruit from the Dalish?

Kenta: Yeah nice to meet you, I am Kenta.

Alistair: That's the name, well I shall be helping you during
your initiation in preparation for the Joining.

Kenta: I look foward to traveling with you.

Alistair: Really? That's a switch...

Kenta: About the mage....

Alistair: Oh that just the Chantry expressing its love for mages
letting them know how much they aren't wanted...

Kenta: Why you...

Alistair: I used to be a Templar and to make long stories short
that means I was a mage hunter.

Kenta: Awkward.

Alistair: I know well let's get back to Duncan....

Alright so to make a long story short, Alistair is retarded cause
lets face it he is probably gonna be like this for the rest of
the game, and on a better note, the Joining what is it and why is
it important. Will the Deserter get to eat his last meal. Will
Alistar continue to be a moron. All will be revealed in the next
part!

TO BE CONTINUED

Quest 2 Joining the Grey Wardens Part 2 The Wilds.

Oh no you started this? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Anyways Have Fun!

Quest 2 Joining the Grey Wardens Part 2 The Wilds

Duncan/Narrator: Good you're back we can start preparing for the
Joining.

Kenta: So where are we going?

Duncan/Narrator: Into the wilds, to look for something.

Daveth: What are we looking for.

Duncan/Narrator: You will go and retrieve three vials of
Darkspawn blood.

Jory: Wait we are going out into the wild to fight those
creatures.

Oh boy Jory is already crapping his pants

Kenta: That doesn't sound so bad.

Alistair: Is there anything else you want Duncan.

Duncan/Narrator: Yes there is an old Grey Warden Archive near
where you will be going, I want you to go and retreve scrolls
with the Warden symbol on them.

Kenta: What are they?

Duncan/Narrator: Treaties if your curious.

Well I just asked.

Duncan/Narrator: Take care of your charges Alistair, and may
fortune favor you.

Alistair: I will, we will be back shortly.

Alright time to go out into the Darkspawn infested forest YEAH WE
ARE SO FREAKING LUCKY.

So go outside and get jumped by a pack of wolves.... can I ever
go into the woods and not get attacked by wolves.

So yeah I am supposed to look for a flower for that dog back at
camp.

Hey look a guy thats half dead on the ground covered in blood
lets talk to him.

Random Soldier #33: Who is it, Grey Wardens?

Alistair: What happened man?

Well Alistair the Darkspawn probably beat him up for his lunch
money.

RS 33: My scouting band was attacked by Darkspawn.

Who called it.

RS 33: They came from every direction and attacked from
everywhere.

Sounds like fun?

RS 33: I need to get my report back to camp.

Kenta: We can take him back to camp.

RS 33: If you have bandages I can make it back.

What a trooper you should give him a medal.

Alistair: I have bandages in my pack.

RS 33: Alright I'll be on my way, (limps off screen)

Jory: DID YOU HEAR THAT A GROUP OF TRAINED MEN ATTACKED AND
ALMOST ALL KILLED BY DARKSPAWN.

No we were all sleeping while he was talking and we didn't notice
all the dead bodies.

Jory: I AM NO COWARD BUT THIS IS FOOLISH AND RECKLESS, HOW MANY
DARKSPAWN CAN WE KILL A DOZEN? A HUNDRED?

Kenta: Are all humans this cowardly.

Alistair: Calm down Jory, there are Darkspawn about but we are no
where near the bulk of the Horde we are fine, I can sense them,
its a power you'll get as a Grey Warden.

So the Grey Wardens are living Darkspawn alarms cool!

Daveth: You hear that ser knight, we may die but we will be
warned about it first.

Onward! Hey look a flower 10 feet from the soliders well that
Dog's life is saved.

So I continue on and find the body of a dead priest, man what is
he doing out here in the wilds. Seems kinda stupid, oh look a
letter about meeting his father near a bunch of statues. Hey
quest marker lets go!

DARKSPAWN AMBUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUSIC GO!



So the first group and I got enough Darkspawn blood for 12
people.

MAN THAT WAS HARD, anyways quest marker. Hey look a chest....
surrounded by wolves.... WHY....

BATTLE WITH ALPHA WOLF.

Well that was easy, anyways, his father was at a camp to the
north huh, WELL TO THE NORTH.

Alright camp to the north, about 15 Darkspawn.

CUE THE MUSIC!




Hey here's the father, he is also dead.....

HEY NEW QUEST
Jagby's Will and Testament, Okay so I have to find a lockbox and
take it to his wife, well that will be easy.
She's in Redcliffe shi-

Hey another quest,
Chasind Trail Markings, so I follow the trail and get a prize.

Alright moving on, more Darkspawn YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Wait Hurlock Alpha that sounds bad....

So yeah we found the Archive.... its a ruin, well this is
helpful.

And the treaties are gone..... And somoeone is watching us.

Woman dressed very revealingly: Well, well what do we have here,
a scavenger disturbing bones long picked clean, entering these
Darkspawn filled wilds of mine in search of easy prey.

Woman: So what are you Scavenger or Intruder.

Kenta: How are they your wilds?

Woman: Cause I am the only one who knows them as someone who owns
them could.

Alistair: Careful she looks Chasind, and that means others may be
nearby.

Woman: Oh? You fear barbarians will swoop down upon you!

Alistair: Yes swooping is BAD.

So yeah Alistair why did you word it that way cause, I mean
really there are other ways you could of said that, it just makes
you sound like the moron you appear to be.

Daveth: SHES A WITCH OF THE WILDS SHE IS SHE WILL TURN US INTO A
FROG SHE WILL.

Jory: Quiet Daveth is she really is a Witch do you want to make
her mad.

Oh yes I love medieval mentallity, a woman who isn't dressed
normal must be a witch.

Woman: Oh witch such idle fancies men have you there elf, your
mind doesn't fear magic like these simpletons. Tell me your name
and I shall tell you mine.

Kenta: I am Kenta pleased to meet you.

Woman: Now there is a civil greeting you may call me Morrigan.

Morrigan: So why are you here? Those treaties that were here they
are no longer here.

Alistair: You stole them didn't you, your some kind of sneaky...
underhanded... witch thief.

Really Alistair is that how your gonna talk to a witch,
apparently you want us all to die.

Morrigan: How does one steal from dead men.

Alistair: Quite easily, Those are Grey Warden property and I
suggest you return them....

Morrigan: I do not have them and it was not I who removed them
invoke a name that means nothing here I am not threatened.

Kenta: Then who did?

Morrigan: My mother

Kenta: Can you take us to her.

Morrigan: Now there is a civil request, I like you.

Alistair: Be careful fist its "I like you" then ZAP "Frog time."

Daveth: She will put us in a pot she will.

Jory: If it is warmer then this forest it will be a welcome
change.

Alright so off to see her mother. Yeah this is going so well.

Morrigan: Greetings Mother, I bring to you four Grey Wardens...

Mother: I CAN SEE THEM GIRL.

Alistair: Do you have the treaties?

Mother: Yes, I do here you can have them and before you say
anything the seals wore off long ago I have protected them.

Alistair: Oh you protected them....

Say thank you Alistair...

Mother: You there elf.

WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE DO THAT I AM ALWAYS THE FREAKING ELF

Mother: Make sure that your Wardens know that this Blight will be
the greatest threat they have ever faced.

Kenta: What does that mean?

Mother: Whatever you make it to be?

Oh yay someone who talks like Yoda....

Morrigan: Follow me I shall take you back to the camp.

So YEAH WE FOUND THE TREATIES AND GOT ENOUGH DARKSPAWN BLOOD FOR
THE ENTIRE ARMY. Time for the Joining yeah!

So will Alistair continue to be a moron. WILL THE DOG BE SAVED WITH THE FLOWER I
FOUND, WILL DUNCAN EVER GET TO BE SOMETHING BESIDES THE NARRATOR,
WILL THE WITCH THIEF RETURN!

TO BE CONTINUED

Quest 3 The Joining

Duncan/Narrator: Good you're back we can start preparing for the Joining.

if you know what I mean

Okay that was bad. Moving on

There are only a couple issues I have with the LP thus far:
-I can't remember who most of the characters are. However this is a personal problem
-The grammar and stuff isn't perfect. However this is also a personal problem because I'm like the only one who's bothered by that

Besides that, I'd suggest you put as much emphasis as possible on your own comments, as opposed to the in-game dialogue, if you can.
Otherwise, it isn't bad.

Hey look a guy thats half dead on the ground covered in blood
lets talk to him.

yes

Kenta: How are they your wilds?

Woman: Cause I am the only one who knows them as someone who owns
them could.

"Ha ha. Now let's see some proof of ownership before I kick your scantily clad ass into The Witcher."

Oh yes I love medieval mentallity, a woman who isn't dressed
normal must be a witch.

Yeah...about that...

Mother: Make sure that your Wardens know that this Blight will be the greatest threat they have ever faced.

Kenta: What does that mean?

IT MEANS EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE

Alistair: Calm down Jory, there are Darkspawn about but we are nowhere near the bulk of the Horde we are fine, I can sense them, its a power you'll get as a Grey Warden.

Alistair: Calm down Jory, there are Darkspawn about but we are nowhere near the bulk of the Horde we are fine, I can sense them,

I can sense them

sense

sense

If I see one more super-powerful character with a radar dish embedded in their brain for no real reason...

Oh, I'm ready

Quest 3 The Joining

So finally returning to camp it magically moved from twilight to
nighttime, I am predicting there is some symbolic meaning in this.
Alright time to take that flower back to the Dog man.

Dog Man: Have you found the flower?

Kenta: Here it is.

Dog Man: Good I will give it to him, he will probably make it now,
why don't you come back after the battle.

Kenta: Why?

Dog Man: We can see about imprinting him on you, you know so he will
follow you around.

YAY I AM GONNA GET A DOG, though its a dog almost big enough for my
guy to ride on, so I am in a sense getting a small bear.

Alright time to head on to Duncan and start the joining.

Duncan: Good you've returned have you been successful in your search.

Kenta: Yes we found the darkspawn blood and the treaties.

Duncan: Good we can procede with the Joining without delay.

Well you know you could of gathered the blood beforehand but hey that
wouldn't of been as fun.

Kenta: I am ready.

Duncan: Before we begin I must warn you we Grey Warden's pay a price
to become what we are, Fate may dictate your price be payed now than
later.

Oh that sounds so cheerful LETS GET ON WITH IT!

Kenta: Let's go I am not afraid.

Well I am going to die anyways cause my character is already tainted
by the Darkspawn. Freaking Fenerel and the stupid mirror.

Duncan: Alistair take them to the ancient temple I will be there
shortly.

Alright screen blackout to indicate long travel, wait we only went
like 50 feet.....

Anyways the Joining.
Mood music starts playing, bagpipes, how homey.

Duncan: (Walking in carrying a cup) It was four centuries ago that
the First Blight claimed the land, in which the first Grey Warden's
drank of Darkspawn blood and mastered their taint.

Jory: We are going to drink the blood of those creatures?!

Duncan: It is the source of our power and our victory.

Daveth: Sounds like an acceptable cost to me, if only to stop the
Darkspawn.

Duncan: We speak only a few words before each Joining it is the creed
of our order, Alistair if you please.

Alistair: Join us, join us brothers and sisters in the duty that
cannot be forsworn, join us in the shadows where we remain vigilant,
join us knowing that if you will stand with us today, that one day we
shall join you.

Wow that sounds so happy I am about to start singing my over abundant
happiness.

Duncan: Daveth, step forward.

Daveth: (Drinks cup of blood)

So yeah he starts flailing around and you hear creepy voices and
murmurs then he cries out in agony his eyes turn white and he falls
to the ground. Oh snap he died.

Duncan: I am sorry Daveth, Jory, step foward.

Jory: No you ask to much!

Duncan: There is no other way...

Jory: There is no honor in this I have a wife a family if I had
known.

Duncan: There is no going back.

Jory draws his sword but Duncan easily disarms him cause his
awesomeness factor was much higher than Jory's oh yeah and Plot
Armor. Jory dies by being stabbed in the heart, turns out he was a
total coward, figures though cause he denied it like 1000 times
previous.

Duncan: You are the last, you have been called upon to submit
yourself to the Taint for the greater good.

Alright so I take the cup and drink, OH GOD THE WHISPERING IM GONNA
DIE IM GONNA DIE, wait no eyes turn white and I just fall over.
OH GOD THERE IS A DEMONIC THING COMING TO EAT ME.

Oh wait nightmares cool, Hey look Duncan and Alistair are looking at
me, I must of lived.

Duncan: It is over welcome.

Kenta: Wow that felt horrible, but I am glad it is over.

Alistair: There is one more part of the ritual, we take blood and put
it in a pendant, it is a reminder of those who didn't make it this
far.

Duncan: Alright I am going to attend a meeting with the King, he
requested that you attend as well.

Kenta: Why me I am nobody?

Duncan: I do not know but since he has asked we will do it.

Alistair: Right I will see you back at camp.

OH YEAH JOINED THE GREY WARDENS, so yeah I just basically drank
poison, bet there is going to be alot of bad effects to that, but oh
well.

To Be Continued.

Quest 4: The Battle of Ostagar

Kraft Lawrence wrote:Oh snap he died.

Duncan: I am sorry Daveth, Jory, step foward.

Jory: No you ask to much!

Duncan: There is no other way...

Jory: There is no honor in this I have a wife a family if I had
known.

Duncan: There is no going back.

Jory draws his sword but Duncan easily disarms him cause his
awesomeness factor was much higher than Jory's oh yeah and Plot
Armor. Jory dies by being stabbed in the heart, turns out he was a
total coward, figures though cause he denied it like 1000 times
previous.

No

NO

Fuck these guys

FUCK 'EM

Now I'm hoping the Grey Faggots and the Darkspawn all die in a massive explosion fight.
Is the idea to make the player hate them, and then you have to fight them or something?

This is almost as bad as West Point