Microsoft Conference 2010 E3

Let's use this topic for important announcements, so people can find out later on.

It's starting soon.

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I'm watching it using the links here.
G4 will work too as a backup.

Watching G4 myshelf. If I get sick of commercials, I may watch the direct link.

I suggest watching G4. The site is lagged and half-cut off.

So Call of Duty Black Ops was shown,

Metal Gear Solid Rising was shown and it looks good.

And now they're doing Gears of War 3

Nothing peaking my interest so far. But I'll keep updating this.

Edit: Fable 3 was shown. Whoopdie freakin doo.

Okay. This is really fucking awful. It's really bad.

Makes me really glad im not watching it.

The whole conference was horribly offensive. Microsoft was the one company I thought wouldn't suck. But they had a half hour of stuff I was interested very little in, and an hour of shit I think shouldn't exist at all.

Also, in Microsoft's defense, Valve and Rockstar pulled out at the last minute. So I guess they could blame some on that.

The caption they have says: "Ya! It's the EA press conference! No one's getting a free 360 though."

So I'll make their announcements here. I'm looking for Mass Effect 3 or 2 stuff, and Timesplitters 4. THEY BETTER.

I fear if there is no Timesplitters 4

Well, they're doing a lot better than Microsoft was. Mainly cause they're actually PRESENTING GAMES.

Anyway, they hyped up a game that had been out of commision for 3 years, and I got excited. Then they said it was Modern Warfare. I guess I can't blame them for that though.

I STILL WANT TIMESPLITTERS 4 FUCKERS.

So, no Timesplitters 4 from EA, and no Mass Effect from them either.

Still better than Microsoft's though.

They showed actual games, so yeah.

I was hoping for a Valve announcement myself...but NOPE NOTHIN

On the other hand, Bulletstorm looked...kinda good.
My brother said it was like Doomguy: The Game, and I agree.
"LAST TRAIN OUT OF EXPLOSION TOWN"

It looks alright.
Out of all of them though, I would probably get Need For speed. As much as that goes against my very nature.

For those of you who missed it, here is:

MICROSOFT'S E3 PRESS CONFERENCE
SUMMARIZED IN BULLET POINTS

-Footage of Call of Duty: Black Ops.
It's...a war game. If you've seen one, you've seen em all.
The explosions were pretty shiny though.

-Hideo Kojima (yay!) presents footage of Metal Gear Solid Rising (LIGHTNING BOLT ACTION).
Raiden with a sword cuts up biorobots and pulls their spines out!
Trips enemies, then severs their limbs as they fall!
Then he quietly cuts a watermelon into small pieces very carefully. Heh

-Gears of War 3. Uh, yeah.

-Fable III coming out October 26.
It's got a revolutionary war theme of sorts.

-A depressed Roman sulks for a while.
This is a new game called "Codename Kingdoms".

-Halo: Reach footage. Heeheehee
Now with space fights!
I'm loving that cheesy guitar
Comes out September 14.

-Kinect, the motion-sensitive camera.
Log into Xbox Live by waving! NEXT-GEN!!
It has voice recognition, too- used to work menus and video controls.
Presenter says now you won't have to look for remotes or forget where the pause button is.
HOW DO YOU FORGET WHERE THE PAUSE BUTTON IS

-XBOX LIVE COMES TO WINDOWS PHONE 7 YEEEAAAHHH
wait what

-Some lady comes onstage and says that the thing she likes most about Kinect is that it's not just for video games.
Uh, you know this is a games convention, right...?
She makes a video call with the Kinect and has a staged conversation.
They can watch a video together in a tiny window! WOW
And the camera tracks your movement for video calls so YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE ITS GAZE

-"There's only one thing missing..." Oh boy, what!?
ESPN. OF COURSE!
WATCH LOTS OF SPORTING EVENTS ON THE XBOX
WITH POLLS AND TRIVIA
FREE WITH XBOX GOLD ACCOUNTS!
"I have to say, this kind of makes me wish i cared about or watched sports" blogs one commentator.

-A young Asian girl shows up to play with a virtual tiger cub.
This is "Kinectimals". See, it's "Kinect" + "Animals"!!
Its name is "Skittles"! HOORAY
It barks exactly like a dog! HOORAY
It can play jump rope! The girl trips Skittles. HOORAY

-Kinect Sports! Uh, haven't I heard of that somewhere before?
Some hobo shows us "what it's like to be a sports star" by yelling and shooting off fireworks WITHOUT A CONTROLLER.
INCREDIBLE RUNNING IN PLACE ACTION...with minor technical difficulties of course.
Soccer, bowling, track and field events, ping pong, boxing, volleyball...ripping off Nintendo in every way imaginable.

-"Kinect will completely reinvent the kart racing genre." Okay seriously guys stop doing that
"Joyride", the kart racing game with unnecessarily complex motion sensitive controls. Only on Xbox 360.

-Kinect Adventures! "Get off your couch, you fat slobs!"
A Mii on a floating raft of death! Do fun body poses and look like a tard!
Then the game takes pictures of you!
Also comes in river rafting version. With more embarassing pictures!

-Now Ubisoft's preseting a game...Kinect Fitness! Okay what the fuck
It scans your body.
Then you do fitness exercises! And "combat training"! and tai chi!

-A dance game called "Dance Central". It's...dancing. That's about it.
Do stupid looking body movements...WITHOUT A CONTROLLER!
Presented by the Dancing Nerds group.
Ooh, Lady Gaga is on the soundtrack!

-Kinect launches on November 4th.
15 launch titles including Sonic Riders...WITHOUT A CONTROLLER!
And also, as displayed in footage, a lightsaber game!
The Stormtroopers die as stupidly as they do in the original movies! (AAAAUUUGH *fall over*)
THEN DARTH VADER APPEARS AND IS SUPPOSED TO BE EPIC!!

-Forza Motorsports! Whee
Including a mode where you use Kinect to look at a car!
As if you're really there!
AND YOU CAN ALSO GET IN THE CAR AND LOOK AT THE INSIDE!!

-Finally, a new Xbox model launching this week.
$299, smaller, quieter, built-in wi-fi finally, 250GB hard drive.
Everyone in the audience gets one for free! HOORAY

im died

Kinect: Best friend to lonely stupid people everywhere

Gears of war 3, Fable 3, and Halo reach, and brink. Everything else sucks in my opinion

And now, a super-condensed summary of Microsoft's E3 presentation:

Oh lol this is great stuff.

Ooh, an new Xbox model with built-in wifi. :D
Glad I waited. Now I don't have to spend the extra $100 on the antenna thing. Lol.

Only thing I saw that interested me.

I probably laughed a good bit from the pictures that Rozen sent me of the chatbox, after I got over wanting to kill him for waking me up at 2 in the morning, Neko and Lyle's reactions to it was really hilarious.

It was terrible.

I've haven't gotten that angry over video games since I was 13 and found out that I spent a week trying to figure out a puzzle to get into Lunpa's basement, only to learn that I couldn't tell that there was stairs going down due to the cruddy graphics.

Someone put all the most important parts of the conference together in one video.

I'm twitching just by watching that.

I wish I could have just seen that. Cause that was pretty much the whole conference. Cept for Metal Gear Rising and the cutting of the Watermelon.
......

FFFFFF

Mufasa wrote:I'm twitching just by watching that.

I wish I could have just seen that. Cause that was pretty much the whole conference. Cept for Metal Gear Rising and the cutting of the Watermelon.
......

FFFFFF

Don't forget ESPN and the human tetris body poses

never forget